At this point in my "story" and actually before I went to the Endriconologist, I had a miscarriage (June 19, 1998) and persistent bleeding for months. Much of it was heavy and scary, so I finally went to a Gynecologist in August who gave me a medication that I highly reacted to, as I've mentioned before. This was my "big crash" and the beginning of my severe MCS problems, although I still didn't know the diagnosis till I went to the Environmental Health Center of Dallas in October. I was living through Psalms 57 and 88 especially and crying to God day and night! If you are now or have ever been REALLY sick and living through these Psalms yourself, you will probably be able to relate to these next few posts.
I'll start this part of my "story" with more of Psalm 39. These are quotes by Pusey and Spurgeon form Spurgeon's Treasury of David that meant a lot to me during this very difficult time in my life.
Psalm 39:7
My hope is in thee.
"Sweet is it that our hope should rest in him who in never shaken: should abide in him who never changeth; should bind us to him who can hold us fast to himself, who alone is the full contentment of the soul; should, as it were, enter into him; since 'in him is our being,' who is love." -E.B. Pusey, D.D., 1853
Psalm 39:9
I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it.
"Sweetened with submission...What a reason for hushing every murmuring thought is the reflection, "because thou didst it"! It is his right to do as he wills, and he always wills to do that which is wisest and kindest: why should I then arraign his dealings? Nay, if it be indeed the Lord, let him do what seemeth him good."-Spurgeon
Psalm 39:10
Remove thy stroke away from me.
"Silence from all repining did not prevent the voice of prayer, which must never cease. In all probability the Lord would grant the psalmist's petition, for he usually removes afliction when we are resigned to it; if we kiss the rod, our Father always burns it. When we are still, the rod is soon still..." -Spurgeon
Psalm 39:10b
I am consumed by the blow of thine hand.
"Good pleas may be found in our weakness and distress. It is well to show our Father the bruises which his scourge has made, for peradventure his fatherly pity will bind his hands, and move him to comfort us in his bosom. It is not to consume us, but to consume our
sins, that the Lord aims at in his chastisements."-Spurgeon
Psalm 39:12
Hole not thy peace at my tears.
"Tears speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues;...When our sorrows pull up the sluices of our eyes, God will ere long interpose and turn our mourning into joy. The Lord may be quiet as though he regardeth not, but the hour of deliverance will come, and come like
the morning when the dewdrops are plentiful."
Hallelujah!
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