My miscarriage was June 19, 1998, and this is basically what I wrote on July 15-17. I will put this into 2 posts.
July 15
Psalm 34:17-19
The righteous cry, and the LORD heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles...Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the LORD delivereth him out of them all.
My trouble...my affliction is continual and persistent..., but surely You will deliver me! Hallelujah!
Psalm 33:18
Behold, the eye of the LORD is upon them that fear him, upon them that HOPE in his MERCY.
Your eye is upon me, Lord! You take PLEASURE in me because I am hoping in Your MERCY. I'm HOPING, Lord, by Your grace...HOPING...HOPING... HOPING...hanging on for dear
life...grabbing at the hem of Your robe...Lord, You are my ONLY HOPE!
July 16
Psalm 57
1a BE MERCIFUL, UNTO ME, O GOD, BE MERCIFUL UNTO ME: FOR MY SOUL TRUSTETH IN THEE:
Micah 7:18 says You DELIGHT in mercy! O Lord, I am so glad that my cries for mercy bring You JOY! I am so happy that You find PLEASURE when I hope in Your MERCY. (Ps. 147:11) For this is the ONLY thing I can do, and I can't even do that except by Your grace. I can't save
myself; I can't heal myself. YOU are my ONLY HOPE!
You are my PORTION...therefore will I HOPE in YOU! (Lam 3:24) Surely "It is good that I should both HOPE and QUIETLY WAIT for the salvation of the LORD." (Lam 3:26) Yes, You are my portion, Lord! Your gifts are so special, and I thank You for them, but...You are my
heart's desire and DELIGHT! You are my PORTION! You are ALL that I really need!
1b YEA, IN THE SHADOW OF THY WINGS WILL I MAKE MY REFUGE, UNTIL THESE
CALAMITIES BE OVERPAST.
My basic long term sickness that I have which prohibits my eating of high carbohydrates and the symptoms I experience when I am "out of balance" along with this affliction since my miscarriage are the calamities in my life right now. Will they EVER really be overpast? "Behold You are my salvation; I will trust, and not be afraid." (Is. 12:2a )"Because thou HAST BEEN my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice! (Ps. 63:7) You have helped me before in calamity! Surely You will help me yet again!
2 I WILL CRY UNTO GOD MOST HIGH; UNTO GOD THAT PERFORMETH ALL THINGS
FOR ME.
Yes, Lord, I am CRYING unto You. How discouraged I was last night because of the digestive problems I've had the last few days, and of the setback. How discouraged I was, and I had almost but lost HOPE. Then You spoke to my heart. Surely there is a reason why you want me to lie here for a few more days. You want me to learn some new Psalms, I guess. You DO have me in a good place to learn them, Lord...right here in bed. Oh, may my heart DELIGHT to do it!...And surely in process of time, the affliction will end. For You are my God that performeth all things for me. As Spurgeon said, "hence past mercies are guarantees for the future." May I stop and remember how You have answered many past prayers for things like this and KNOW that You shall yet hear again and say "yes"... Thank-You, Lord!
3 HE SHALL SEND FROM HEAVEN, AND SAVE ME FROM THE REPROACH OF HIM
THAT WOULD SWALLOW ME UP. SELAH. GOD SHALL SEND FORTH HIS MERCY AND
HIS TRUTH.
Lord, I'm hiding here under Your SHADOW, but the enemy is still all around me. So send forth MERCY from heaven. MERCY and TRUTH, like angels, shall surely pick me up and take me directly to YOU(not only in your shadow). There shall I be far from the enemy who is trying to destory me!
Lord, You know that this whole ordeal since my miscarriage has been the cause of an emotional roller coaster for me. I have, from the beginning, sensed a deep spiritual battle with the evil one who is trying to "swallow me up". I shall stop and consider. You are much
more powerful than the evil one, so why do I worry and fret? Surely You shall win even though what I SEE tends to discourage me. "Now FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." (Heb. 11:1)
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