Psalm 39:9

Here are some more excerpts from my book before I knew that I had FM and MCS.

June 1998

Lord, could it be that You are fixing to HEAL me? O Lord, if the symptoms would cease, and if I could eat normally again, that would indeed be a miracle healing even if I have to take a thyroid pill or something..I'm not trusting in medicines or doctors. Nothing has healed me so far, and only YOU can make any medical procedure or medicine WORK. Only YOU can give the DIAGNOSIS to my sickness. Lord, please have mercy upon me. I have laid myself in Your arms of love and said, "If You want me to die, o.k. If You want me to continue to hunger and thirst, o.k." O Thank-You, Lord for the special food and ice. Now, O Lord, You have allowed me to see this Endriconologist, and I have so much hope!
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Aug. 2, 1998

Psalm 39:9

I was dumb, I opened not my mouth; because thou didst it.

Lord, tears flowed from my eyes at the doctor's office this morning. But now, I must confess I AM NUMB! Why, Lord? I just KNEW this was going to be the ANSWER to at least part of my health problems- a diagnosis of Thyroiditis and a little pill that would make me well so
that I could eat again without symptoms. But...NO! Why, Lord? Surely it is all for my good, but I am dumb and NUMB! I open not my mouth because thou didst it. I don't understand, but I must resign myself to my condition although I don't know WHAT is wrong with me.
Thank-You, Lord, for the gentle rain that is falling on me as I pray. Surely You are mixing Your tears with mine! Thank-You for holding me in Your sovereign arms of love! In Jesus' name. Amen!