I WAIT for the LORD, My Soul Doth WAIT

Sept. 1999

I WAIT for the LORD, My Soul Doth WAIT

Psalm 130

1 Out of the depths have I cried unto thee, O LORD.

Lord, I am in DEEP bondage – in a "prison" of molds, dust, pollens, and chemicals that I can do NOTHING about, and out of this "prison of sickness" I cry unto You just as:

"…the children of Israel SIGHED by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their CRY came up unto (YOU) by reason of the bondage." (Ex. 2:23)

Surely my "sighings and cryings" are coming up to You also! Yes, I, along with Jerusalem, cry to You! I cry –

"..O WALL of the daughter of Zion, LET TEARS RUN DOWN LIKE A RIVER DAY AND NIGHT: give thyself no rest; let not the apple of thine eye cease." (Lam. 2:18)

Lord, You are my "wall", and I am the "apple of Your eye."

"KEEP ME as the apple of the eye, hide me under the shadow of thy wings," (Ps. 17:8)…CRY!

Surely You shall protect me where I am until You answer my prayer –for the promise to Israel and to me is this:

"For I, saith the LORD, will be unto her a WALL OF FIRE round about,and will be the glory in the midst of her…for he that toucheth youtoucheth the apple of his eye." (Zech. 2:5,8b)

2 Lord, hear my voice: let thine ears be attentive to the voice of my supplications.

Yes, with Jerusalem I cry, "Please free me from this bondage." Hear the voice of my supplications…Please provide a clean, dry climate with fresh, pure mountain air!

"O WALL of the daughter of Zion, LET TEARS RUN DOWN LIKE A RIVER DAY AND NIGHT: give thyself no rest; let not the apple of thine eye cease." (Lam.2:18)

Tears ARE running down Your cheeks like a river day and night, aren't they, Lord? I am Your beloved, hurting child, the "apple of Your eye", and just as a mother would go running out with great emotion and tears streaming down her face to pick up and hold close to her
breast her unconscious, bleeding child who had been hit by a truck, so YOU are holding and weeping for the "broken" ME! With great "roarings" (Ps. 22:1) You died for me, with great groanings in the spirit You wept with Mary and Martha when Lazarus died (Jn. 11:33, 35), and with great emotion You are crying now with me here, too. You FEEL MY INFIRMITIES (Heb. 4:15), and You have COMPASSION – for You also were "compassed with infirmity" as Heb. 5:2 says. It's interesting that the Greek word for "compassed" here can mean "bound", and the word for "infirmity" from Strong's is 772 – "feebleness ( of body or mind); by impl. malady; mor. frailty: - disease, infirmity, sickness, weakness." Could it be that You, dear
Jesus, had a bodily weakness like mine that was never recorded in Scripture??? You WERE a "man of sorrows and acquainted with grief" (Is. 53:3)….Yes, You FEEL my seemingly increasing INFIRMITIES and WEEP for me! You FEEL my distress at not being able to do anything about making my environment less toxic! Surely You FEEL my "PRISON" of pain! As I cry, You also weep bitter tears and demonstrate Your great and mighty LOVE. Thank-You, Lord, for Your wonderful comfort!

3 If thou, LORD, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?

My sin is ever before me, Lord. I deserve nothing but Your great and almighty wrath. Why can't I be good? Why is my heart so selfish? I deserve nothing but increasing torments that lead to a horrible death… BUT…

4 But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou mayest be feared.

Ah…FORGIVENESS! Thank-You, Lord, that my sins are washed away! "Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of (Your) heritage? (You) retaineth not (Your) anger for ever, because (You) DELIGHT IN MERCY." (Micah 7:18) As You forgive me, it inspires reverence in my heart, and thank-You… thank-You…thank-You, Lord, that You DELIGHT IN MERCY!

"Bless the LORD, O my soul..Who forgiveth all (mine) iniquities; who healeth all (my) diseases…." (Ps. 103:2a-3)

My sins are forgiven, and no more shall I sin…I am healed,and my diseases are gone…by Your shed blood. I do not see it yet…I do not experience it yet, but it is true by faith in Your Word! The total healing may not come till I reach heaven just as the sin will not be entirely gone till then, but indeed You DO give me much victory over sin and I AM being sanctified slowly, so maybe You shall have mercy upon me soon also even here in this life in giving me better
health??? O Lord, please remember MERCY! Lord, DELIGHT IN MERCY for me here today, by Your grace!

5 I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.

I WAIT for YOU, Lord, just like a Christian prisoner in a concentration camp waits to be set fee. And as I wait, I am reminded of Psalm 62:5 –

"My soul, WAIT thou ONLY upon GOD; for my expectation is from HIM!"

I'm waiting for a MIRACLE, Lord! Remember Your WORD to me! I'm waiting for a MIRACLE, Lord! Even a little one would be so nice!

6 My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

You know how many times I've sung this Psalm with all my heart, Lord – and especially these last two verses. I well remember the freezing cold morning of Feb. 10, 1988 and my trip at dawn to the little cemetary where our precious little one was laid to rest not quite a year before. My heart was filled with great anticipation and hope – for my fifth labor had just begun, and I longed for Timothy, too, to know that he would soon have a little brother or sister. What emotion You shared with me that morning as I burst forth in song when the
eastern sky broke forth in dazzling pinks and oranges. The sun broke forth above the hills as I WAITED for our little one's arrival, and I sang:

I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. My soul waiteth for the Lord more than they that watch for the morning: I say, more than they that watch for the morning.

As I have walked up and down the dry creek bed recently through the fallen leaves, I have sung these same words. And as I look out my dreary window this morning at the seeming endless drizzle, I sing this song as I wait for the sun to show forth again in brightness.
Yes, I WAIT…I WAIT…I WAIT for You, Lord, more than they that watch for the morning! It is "NIGHT"…My illness in "heavy" upon me…and things seem very DRIZZLY and DARK! I WAIT…I WAIT…I WAIT for You, O Lord, to bring the "sunshine" again into my life! And while I WAIT, I remember another song, a song which cheered my heart and gave me HOPE
in the "NIGHTTIME" of my life after my little toddler died of spinal meningitis –

Psalm 42:8

Yet the LORD will command his lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night his SONG shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.

In the "NIGHT" Your SONG WAS with me! And the promise is to me again! Thank-You, Lord!

Yes, I am now in the "NIGHT" again, a "long night of sickness" that really began around the time that Timothy died. Although the "night" seems to be growing darker and darker, Your song, Psalm 130, brings hope to my heart again today. Your song is WITH ME!

Lam. 2:24-26

24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope IN HIM.

25 The LORD is good unto them that WAIT FOR HIM, to the soul that seeketh him.

26 It is good that a man should both HOPE and QUIETLY WAIT for the salvation of the LORD.

You want me to QUIETLY WAIT, LORD, and I believe You are bringing me to that place of "stillness". Praise be to Your name!

Isaiah 25:8-9

8 (You) will swallow up death in victory; and (You) will wipe away tears from off all faces; and the rebuke of (Your) people shall (You) take away from off all the earth: for (You) have spoken it.

9 And it shall be said in that day, Lo, this is our God; we have WAITED FOR HIM, and HE WILL SAVE US: this is the LORD: we have WAITED FOR HIM, we will be GLAD and REJOICE IN HIS SALVATION.

Hallelujah!

7 Let Israel hope in the LORD: for with the LORD there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption.

I am to HOPE in You, Lord! The word "hope" implies waiting and trusting in patience, and also I see from Strong's that it can mean to "be pained". How interesting! So hoping and waiting in patience involves pain and a willingness to bear it. But the promise is mercy
and exceeding redemption and deliverance from sin and sickness. Hallelujah!

8 And he shall redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

As I look at the side notes in my Bible here, I notice the word "cleansing". This is what I need, O Lord – a thorough cleansing from sin and a thorough cleansing for my physical body, too! Surely when You cleanse me from all my candida, parasites, heavy metals, and other toxins, I shall be delivered. I shall be WELL! Thank-You, Lord for PROMISED DELIVERANCE! Amen!